It's Just You and Me, Martha

Well here I am, folks. Finally taking the plunge into the sublime and unparalleled abyss of blogging. Going where no man has gone before. But it is finally my moment. Why now you ask? Well, it's simple: because I am in my pajamas and it's 11:19AM on a Tuesday. And I am always about 5 years behind on anything hip or cool. I am wearing a scrunchie. And I have writer's block, and what do I do when I have WB? I bake or eat, or more specifically: eat while I bake and then eat what I baked. Then I watch a show on Bravo. Then I eat some more and Google dead Russian playwrights or feral children. Or I peruse Perez Hilton. Yes, that's right - I am not above anything. I am unemployed and have the attention span of an infant (or of "Genie", the most famous feral child in American history - oh snap! See I am productive...)

Well people have always told me : "You should blog since you like to write", and secretly I have in fact envied the camaraderie bloggers share. Their secret society, built around uploading well lit photos, amateur graphic design, clever inside jokes, snarky editorials and exposition of one's hobbies, thoughts, opinions and/or proclivities. It is the basis, the foundation of all social networking. And I am a really reluctant, late blooming social networker. I am a passive user of the Internet - I am a voyeur, a lurker and a googler - I use it for either research, keeping in touch, or wasting enormous amounts of time. I haven't stepped foot inside a library in at least 6 years and that is depressing. I miss the simpler times. When TV channels had to be changed by pushing buttons on the actual TV sets and your parents had no way of finding out where you were unless you decided to respond to their (pager) page. I also miss writing and receiving hand-written notes and letters, storks dropping newborns on doorsteps, and that stale, nostalgic smell of the pages in old library books. But times have changed and I have to accept it - because it's my generation's destiny. Right? Whatever. But like I mentioned, I have been a passive participant. I am not interesting enough for Twitter...or even blogging for that matter, but alas, I have finally arrived.

I've decided to be baptized into the blog-i-sphere through baking - because it is a tangible thing and something I can surely create camaraderie over, since there are oh, 100+ million cooking and baking blogs out there. Apparently a lot of us are unemployed (and like to suppress our depression with cakey treats by the pan full). And even if no one reads this, it will create the (false?) feeling of accomplishment and productivity. It will now be OK to scarf a batch of cookies down in one sitting as long as I am recording the process and sharing it with the world! I will wear my carb addiction like a badge of honor! While everyone is at work, or school, or traveling the world, or contributing to humanity - I will be baking and eating and loafing with conviction.

And my journey will start with my girl, Martha. Yes, that's right: The one and only Martha Stewart. Martha, you are a delight and I am lucky to have time now to enjoy your under-appreciated, daytime show. And although you are massively talented and no doubt an enormous ball-buster in both your business and personal life, I consider you the queen of cookies and all things sweet...a modern Betty Crocker...and I love you... and more importantly, I love your Cookies Book. A gift from my favorite uncle and notorious baking master, Uncle Franz, I am ready to get down with this book (and other tasty ones too, why not...). So let's get started on these 175 recipes, shall we? Now, truth be told, I have baked a few of the recipes already since getting this book a month or so ago, but let's start from the top - since a fudged a few of them, and not in a delicious chocolatey way. Except the fudge brownies - those were divine! But of course I didn't make them - my partner in procrastinating and baking crime did. So now it's my turn. Let's get Baking!